Growing Zen

I love my yoga class. This morning, in the first twenty minutes, I was feeling so euphoric. I was thinking to myself (and I know this sounds flaky or whatevs, but I mean it sincerely), "Yoga is the most loving, nurturing thing I do for my body. And mind. Oh, and meditation, too. It's sooooo good for my mind, heart, and body. I feel so nourished and connected. I love it."

Then I was trying to figure out why it feels so good, and I think I discovered at least one very good reason: Both yoga and meditation are based in being mindful and present. Mindfulness--being present and aware--is the ground in which love itself, in all of its manifestations, grows. When you're present, aware, and paying attention moment by moment, you grow in understanding, appreciation, compassion, patience, tenderness, harmony, kindness, and (to risk sounding trite) expansive, soul-deep love.

This kind of love can grow for anyone or anything that you specifically set your mind to be present for: yourself, your body, your emotions; whatever cause or undertaking you're involved in or passionate about; and, of course, other people. It is absolutely fulfilling, connecting, and unifying. It makes things whole.

Seriously--and I'm going to use an example with loving another person, but this idea applies equally to loving yourself and what you do--compare the following: watching TV while half-heartedly listening to your significant other in the next room, as opposed to being close to them, looking at them, touching them, being there and processing what they're saying, absorbing every aspect of the moment with that person...really being present. Even beyond the kind of department store packaged/chick flick/look-deep-into-my-eyes idea of romantic love, being mindful is a selfless, deep, fundamental connection. It is what nourishes and sustains life. Again, this is not limited to a romantic partner. All living beings, ourselves included, need our love and connection.

Being mindful with yourself, your activities, and other people is literally gifting yourself to those things. That's pretty amazing. And it is through this expansive love, this mindfulness, that we are transformed and develop the capacity to be transforming influences in the world.

Because that is how love grows: by loving.

And as we all know, "what the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the one thing that there's just too little of." :)

"You may not feel that anger is a hindrance, so, as a start, it is useful to investigate whether anger is of value. Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring with it more energy, confidence, and determination. In these moments, though, we much examine our mental state carefully. While it is true that anger brings extra energy, if we explore the nature of this energy, we discover that it is blind. We cannot be sure whether its result will be positive or negative. This is because anger eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. Moreover, if anger increases to the extreme, one becomes a crazy person, acting in ways that are as damaging to oneself as they are to others.

It is possible, however, to develop an equally forceful but far more controlled energy with which to handle difficult situations. This controlled energy comes not only from a compassionate attitude, but also from reason and patience. These are the most powerful antidotes to anger. Unfortunately, many people misjudge reason and patience as signs of weakness. I believe the opposite to be true: that they are the true signs of inner strength. Compassion is by nature gently, peaceful, and soft, but it is also very powerful. It gives us inner strength and allows us to be patient. It is those who easily lose their patience who are insecure and unstable. Thus, to me, the arousal of anger is usually a direct sign of weakness.

So, when a problem arises, try to remain humble and maintain a sincere attitude and be concerned that the outcome will be fair. Of course, others may try to take advantage of your concern for fairness, and if your remaining detached only encourages unjust aggression, adopt a strong stand. This should be done with compassion, however, and if it becomes necessary to express your views and take strong countermeasures, do so without anger or ill intent.

You should realize that even though your opponents appear to be harming you, in the end, their destructive activity will damage only themselves. In order to check your own selfish impulses to retaliate, you should recall your desire to practice compassion and assume responsibility for helping prevent the other person from suffering the consequences of their acts. If the measure you employ have been calmly chosen, they will be more effective, more accurate, and more forceful. Retaliation based on blind energy of anger seldom hits the target.

...

To eliminate the destructive potential of anger and hatred entirely, we need to recognize that the root of anger lies in the attitude that cherishes our own welfare and benefit while remaining oblivious to the well-being of others. This self-centered attitude underlies not only anger, but virtually all our states of mine. It is a deluded attitude, misperceiving the way things actually are, and this misperception is responsible for all the suffering and dissatisfaction of experience."

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, The Compassionate Life, pages 24-26 and 28-29.