Growing Zen

I love my yoga class. This morning, in the first twenty minutes, I was feeling so euphoric. I was thinking to myself (and I know this sounds flaky or whatevs, but I mean it sincerely), "Yoga is the most loving, nurturing thing I do for my body. And mind. Oh, and meditation, too. It's sooooo good for my mind, heart, and body. I feel so nourished and connected. I love it."

Then I was trying to figure out why it feels so good, and I think I discovered at least one very good reason: Both yoga and meditation are based in being mindful and present. Mindfulness--being present and aware--is the ground in which love itself, in all of its manifestations, grows. When you're present, aware, and paying attention moment by moment, you grow in understanding, appreciation, compassion, patience, tenderness, harmony, kindness, and (to risk sounding trite) expansive, soul-deep love.

This kind of love can grow for anyone or anything that you specifically set your mind to be present for: yourself, your body, your emotions; whatever cause or undertaking you're involved in or passionate about; and, of course, other people. It is absolutely fulfilling, connecting, and unifying. It makes things whole.

Seriously--and I'm going to use an example with loving another person, but this idea applies equally to loving yourself and what you do--compare the following: watching TV while half-heartedly listening to your significant other in the next room, as opposed to being close to them, looking at them, touching them, being there and processing what they're saying, absorbing every aspect of the moment with that person...really being present. Even beyond the kind of department store packaged/chick flick/look-deep-into-my-eyes idea of romantic love, being mindful is a selfless, deep, fundamental connection. It is what nourishes and sustains life. Again, this is not limited to a romantic partner. All living beings, ourselves included, need our love and connection.

Being mindful with yourself, your activities, and other people is literally gifting yourself to those things. That's pretty amazing. And it is through this expansive love, this mindfulness, that we are transformed and develop the capacity to be transforming influences in the world.

Because that is how love grows: by loving.

And as we all know, "what the world needs now is love, sweet love. It's the one thing that there's just too little of." :)

I have a bunch of excellent passages that I want to record for future reference. No synthesis, sorry. They're just excellent to read through. First, Sylvia Boorstein, Pay Attention, For Goodness' Sake:

There are only two possible responses to every challenge--balanced acceptance or embittered resistance. Acceptance is freedom. Resistance is suffering.

"This is what's happening. It cannot be otherwise. Struggling is extra. Struggling is suffering."

     Everything is always changing, and so nothing can be permanently satisfying. And I absolutely know that railing and resenting when I am displeased with life's unfolding compounds my pain. Life unfolds lawfully, guided by conditions far too complex for me to know and certainly beyond my control.
     The pain we feel about what has happened intensifies with bitterness--which we often cannot help but feel--and we suffer. In a moment of Wisdom--"It is me. It is now. It is painful. And it will be painful for as long as it is, and then it will change"--the suffering stops. The heart's natural compassion becomes available to provide support, to comfort the pain.

Recounted from a friend, talking about his teacher, who greeted everyone with "Thank you":
"Renouncing contention was Lama Yeshe's practice. His thanking was a way of keeping himself from getting frightened. I completely got it, that things happen, that not everything is what you want, that some things you need to change, but that it's all part of life, and that it is manageable. Workable."

However amazing life is, it is full of pain. ... [N]ot resenting, not being in contention with circumstance, not adding extra suffering to pain, doesn't require all-out thanking. It only requires accepting. It requires being able to say, "This is what's true. Okay."

Forgiving is hard practice, too, but it's plausible. Reasonable.

Don't add rage to pain.

"What is the meaning of life?" does not solve the problem of "What should we do?" ... Ending suffering depends on seeing clearly, without bias, "It's like this," so the "What should we do?" question can answer itself.
Life is so difficult
How can we be anything but kind?

That's enough for now. I have more that I need to copy out of my current book, so I'm sure there will be at least one more entry on suffering.

That is what I'd get tattooed, on the inside of my left wrist, above my mala bracelet. A permanent reminder of the following, inspired by the section on the paramita (perfection of the heart) lovingkindness, from Sylvia Boorstein's Pay Attention, For Goodness' Sake:

1. Always tell good stories about people to other people. Provide everyone with as much opportunity for love and harmony as possible by providing a good ground for people to love and be loved.

2. Always tell good stories about people to yourself. Ruminating on old wounds or insults causes the hurt to rot. We're all just trying to do the best we can, and we all mess up. Be forgiving of others, and be kind to yourself in letting the hurt go. Holding onto hurt is not a strength, it is a self-inflicted and chronic weakness. Forgiveness and love are the only things that can make you whole again.

3. Always tell good stories about yourself to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to grow. Be gently mindful of who you are and what you do. Be forgiving and supportive of yourself when you need to make adjustments. Recognize and nurture the good in you and what you do.


It is this way that we must train ourselves:
by liberation of the self through love
we will develop love,
we will practice it,
we will make it both a way and a basis,
take a stand upon it,
store it up,
and thoroughly set it going.

-The Buddha