Growing Zen

When I first started meditating, I thought it was going to be impossible to do sitting meditation, what with staying at home with a three-year-old and one-year-old. So I developed "Driving Meditation" for myself.

Houston traffic is awful. Rush hour on the major roads starts at 3 pm and starts to dwindle around 7 pm. About 82% of drivers refuse to use blinkers for turning or for land changes. (An additional 3% keep their blinkers on inappropriately.) My husband has been hit 3 times in 3 years by people not signalling and just merging into him in his lane. There is a theory that people don't use blinkers because if you do, the drivers around you know that you're trying to get into their lane, so they'll speed up to squeeze you out. Oh, they definitely do that.

I can be one of the best rude drivers in the world. I'd get all jumped up on righteous indignation when people speed up a lane that has been marked as ending for miles, only to dart into the line of people who responsibly merged in advance of the lane ending. I'd squeeze them out and get all angry if they managed to get in front of me.

Then I read something in one of my early Buddhist books (can't remember which one :( ) about driving, about seeing interdependence and unity even in traffic. It changed my life. On the road, we all have a destination to reach. We all want to get there safely (apparent contradicting driving behavior aside, most people do want to reach their destination in a timely fashion and, oh, alive).

So, I practice compassion, patience, and unity while driving. It's my driving meditation. That truck needs to get into my lane because we are going in the same direction. We are doing the same thing. We are both people in cars who have the right to get where we're going. Why in the world did I used to pride myself on making things more difficult for people?

I now drive mindfully of those around me and do whatever I can to accommodate them on the road. It eliminates the stress and anger in my mind and body, which has a great impact on the small people riding in the backseat :) I also like to think that helping people on their way might lessen their stress in turn, and maybe even if someone notices my driving style, they might be inspired to copy it. And thus the ripples spread. :)

Not only can you use driving as an opportunity to connect with other people, you can use driving to connect with creation on a broader basis. Give it a try the next time you're in a traffic jam, not moving and powerless to improve the situation. This is a passage from Sylvia Boorstein's book, Pay Attention, for Goodness' Sake. It's from a California driving instructor, so he's kind of an expert at driving, you know? ;)

I was driving north on Highway 101, just ten minutes past the Golden Gate Bridge, on my way to the Richmond Bridge in San Rafael. I planned to cross the bay and drive on north from there to Antioch, where I had an important business meeting. Even though it was midday, I found myself suddenly in gridlock traffic. I thought I might miss my appointment in Antioch. I began to feel anxious. I became irritated at the drivers I saw joining the freeway traffic from entrance ramps without leaving any space for the cars already on the highway to move forward. It was looking less and less likely that I'd be at my appointment on time. I noticed that my body had become tense and I was gripping the wheel. Then I looked out the driver's side window and saw Mount Tamalpais. I looked out to my right and saw Richardson Bay. I thought, “I am sitting between two major tourist attractions. People come from all over the world to sit exactly where I am sitting right now in order to have this view.” I sat back and appreciated the view. My hands unclenched. My body relaxed. My mind relaxed. Then I had this big revelation.

This was my revelation: “I'll get to Antioch when I get to Antioch. Maybe today. Maybe not today. Maybe I'll be there for the meeting. Maybe I won't be there for the meeting. Whatever will be will be. My getting aggravated is not changing the situation. It is making it worse.”

...When the traffic did start up again, I didn't drive too fast, so I didn't become a menace to myself and everyone else on the highway. That's the important part. I say to my students, “You need to keep looking for whatever perspective you can find that will transform the moment.”

You might be thinking, what if people ask me what I would do if I wasn't between Mount Tamalpais and Richardson Bay? I might, for example, be stuck in traffic on the Pulaski Skyway between Newark and Jersey City, where it's extremely polluted and also crowded. I tell people, “You can look out of a window anywhere. On the Pulaski Skyway you could say to yourself, “Look at this wonderful ironwork that they made a hundred years ago. They don't do ironwork like this anymore.” Maybe if your spirits are a little bit lifted by admiring the craftsmanship, you'll have the courage to look at the pollution on the Pulaski Skyway and say, “It's really polluted here. I wonder what technology people will develop in the twenty-first century to clean it up. I wonder what I could do to help. I wonder whom I could call in Congress, whom I might help elect that might have some impact on this situation.” I tell people that the main thing about being a safe driver is looking out for other people. Not just on the road. All the time.
Sylvia Boorstein, Pay Attention, For Goodness' Sake, 178-180