Growing Zen

"You may not feel that anger is a hindrance, so, as a start, it is useful to investigate whether anger is of value. Sometimes, when we are discouraged by a difficult situation, anger does seem helpful, appearing to bring with it more energy, confidence, and determination. In these moments, though, we much examine our mental state carefully. While it is true that anger brings extra energy, if we explore the nature of this energy, we discover that it is blind. We cannot be sure whether its result will be positive or negative. This is because anger eclipses the best part of our brain: its rationality. So the energy of anger is almost always unreliable. It can cause an immense amount of destructive, unfortunate behavior. Moreover, if anger increases to the extreme, one becomes a crazy person, acting in ways that are as damaging to oneself as they are to others.

It is possible, however, to develop an equally forceful but far more controlled energy with which to handle difficult situations. This controlled energy comes not only from a compassionate attitude, but also from reason and patience. These are the most powerful antidotes to anger. Unfortunately, many people misjudge reason and patience as signs of weakness. I believe the opposite to be true: that they are the true signs of inner strength. Compassion is by nature gently, peaceful, and soft, but it is also very powerful. It gives us inner strength and allows us to be patient. It is those who easily lose their patience who are insecure and unstable. Thus, to me, the arousal of anger is usually a direct sign of weakness.

So, when a problem arises, try to remain humble and maintain a sincere attitude and be concerned that the outcome will be fair. Of course, others may try to take advantage of your concern for fairness, and if your remaining detached only encourages unjust aggression, adopt a strong stand. This should be done with compassion, however, and if it becomes necessary to express your views and take strong countermeasures, do so without anger or ill intent.

You should realize that even though your opponents appear to be harming you, in the end, their destructive activity will damage only themselves. In order to check your own selfish impulses to retaliate, you should recall your desire to practice compassion and assume responsibility for helping prevent the other person from suffering the consequences of their acts. If the measure you employ have been calmly chosen, they will be more effective, more accurate, and more forceful. Retaliation based on blind energy of anger seldom hits the target.

...

To eliminate the destructive potential of anger and hatred entirely, we need to recognize that the root of anger lies in the attitude that cherishes our own welfare and benefit while remaining oblivious to the well-being of others. This self-centered attitude underlies not only anger, but virtually all our states of mine. It is a deluded attitude, misperceiving the way things actually are, and this misperception is responsible for all the suffering and dissatisfaction of experience."

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, The Compassionate Life, pages 24-26 and 28-29.